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Jealousy! A feeling that can end Relations

“My best friend is talking to a new friend too much nowadays. I hate that new friend of hers a lot, I am getting jealous of their increasing bond, I feel like hitting that new friend, she is my best friend and I can’t see her getting close to anyone else than me.” Have you ever faced such kind of situation in your life? I am sure you must have at some point of your life. Today let’s talk about an issue which is always there in mind. Jealousy! It is not just a term; it is a feeling or an emotion. And you know what? We all experience it at some point in our life. It also leads to some unhealthy habits. You aren’t going to get rid of it completely; it’s like asking yourself from stop being human. Rather one should acknowledge it that it exists, and should learn to work through it. It can arouse between anyone, friends, siblings, colleagues and many more. In friendship jealousy can arouse in weird ways. It’s like when we see our friend hanging out with someone new and feel that sting of betrayal. Even though like OF COURSE IT’S NOT BETRAYAL! Your friend can have other friends! But jealousy isn’t very level-headed. Jealousy just reacts. Jealousy just feels. When you see your high school friend get a job promotion, get engaged, buy a new house, or lose a bunch of weight – you’re supposed to feel happy for them, but somehow you feel like you’re in a competition with them to be better. Why? I don’t think we want to feel this way, we just do.  Friends Jealousy can be anything from being jealous of your partner’s friends to being jealous of your best friend’s friend; basically, you’re jealous of the person your person is spending time with. We feel this type of jealousy because we feel left out. We keep our partners and our best friends at the centre of our universe, and when they choose to spend time with someone else, it’s a terrible feeling. We get jealous of the “friends” because we fear that they’ll steal our partner or best friend away from us. Jealousy brings out our competitive side, as well as our vulnerable side. But there is a silver lining of feeling jealous: it shows us where we’re too dependent.  Jealousy can help you see the value of your connection with others, but it can also show you that it’s time to branch out. Even though you love your partner or best friend, they don’t have to be the centre of your life all the time. Take time to go out with your friends or do something that you like. Jealousy in itself is not necessarily a problem. It becomes a problem when it causes you to act out or when you sit and wallow in it. Try to think of jealousy like a balloon floating by. You can see it. There’s no denying its right there. But it’s not permanent. It’s okay to say, “Yep, it’s here right now. I’m feeling jealous.” But then allow it to continue floating on. Don’t make it your entire focus. Let it go. Another thing you can do and…hear me out, okay? You can talk about it with your friend. I know it sounds scary! But sometimes when we speak about the stuff that is bothering us, we take away some of its power. You might be surprised. If you can talk about your feelings, as irrational and ridiculous as they might be, it can help you work through them. It might even bring you closer to your friend because it’s a level of intimacy and honesty! Look, jealousy is exhausting. But know that it is normal. The trick is not letting it consume us. We need to acknowledge it and quickly get over it!

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